Writer · Artist · Alchemist

I'm a yes/and kinda woman.

This is the place where common sense meets holy rebellion at the intersection of research, intuition, and prayer.

I viscerally miss the 90's. I have about 70 house plants, no allergies, and hadn't gotten sick for more than 10 years before a liiiiiittle thing called CANCER flipped my world upside down and turned me inside out. I've traveled to 74 countries, most of those solo in an unconscious heroine's journey, avoiding myself, searching for a place to call home (and unknowingly wrecking my nervous system), only to move right back to my hometown 15 years later, after an Ayahuasca ceremony in the middle of an olive grove with Brazilian indigenous leaders on my grandfather's 100th birthday (where he came to me and gave me the download about why our family is in this particular location and what my role is here).

I spent my 20s and 30s swirling, twirling and traversing the world. I moved back to the US, and for my 40th birthday, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer after 12+ years living organic, low-tox, and integrated with nature. I explored every shadowy nook and cranny of my diagnosis, weaving the fragmented parts of mind/body/spirit ecosystem back together, while listening to the silenced and wounded parts of me that needed acknowledgment. I spent 4 months trying alternative therapies in an attempt to avoid chemotherapy. My stubborn attempt to prove something was lovingly smacked down by the bigger picture of purpose and mission Eventually, I surrendered into the system I didn't trust, made it 6 months of chemo without side effects, and went through a full metamorphosis, somehow shedding all parts of myself and my life that didn't fit and arriving stripped down to the marrow of me.

These days, life is slower and more fullfilling than ever before. I read 37 books during 6 months of chemo, started my first garden and became a tomato mom, and spend my time walking in nature and writing my little heart out. I've traded my sorority letters for thrifted finds and Miller lite for matcha. I have a boxing coach 3x/week which is the ultimate therapy for me and fuel for my innter fire.

Oh yeah, and by the way, I'm obsessed with fire, both literal and figurative. I want to dance with it, sing to it, let it swallow me whole. Fire as transformation, as metabolism, as inspiration, as discipline. Fire is destruction. Fire is initiation. Fire is rebirth.

I have a fierce burning heart for nature, evolution, and this wild, noisy and catalytic turning point we find ourselves in.

I explore the challenges, triggers, and 'coincidences' (i call them synchronicities) of being human as I dwell in the middle of the intersection where most people insist on separating science and spirit, research and intuition, modern medicine and ancestral wisdom, individual sovereignty and community responsibility, human growth and ecological preservation. I don't believe any of these should be partitioned, and as my identity crumbled through cancer, i went from "either/or" to "both/and."

I'm slowly and intentionally paving my way as a courier of threshold literacy, and I seem to have a Master's degree in alchemizing liminal spaces and leaning into uncertainty, which happen to be highly in demand as we find ourselves in this global collapse.

I have walked through fire over and over again, and continue to stand on hot coals, though they're simmering to embers now after I received my remission report. I've willingly flirted with the edges of myself for as long as I can remember, my only goal is to know myself deeper, and to perhaps lasso some wisdom from inside the flames of initiation to bring it back and share through storytelling and meaning-making.

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The Bigger Picture

There's an order to it all, even when we can't see it.

Pattern recognition, meaning-making, and choosing to trust that the path leads somewhere real even when the fog is covering it. Cancer taught me this one the hard way, and I am still arguing with it some days.

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Where to find the rest of it

I write long form at Green Fire Letters. The essays, the research I actually read, the parts I got wrong. It's becoming a book and you'd be reading it first.

Free, every few weeks. Join me at the hearth.

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